Virtual hilarity  

Friday, September 23, 2005

After watching I, Robot, I wanted to know how it felt to have a chat with something with artificial intelligence. With so many expectations, I downloaded CHAT BOTS ranging from the classic Eliza to the not-so-famous Billy and Ultra-HAL. It was after a chat with all three of them did I realise that A.I. was nothing compared to the human brain. All three sounded stupid after a few minutes of conversation. Eliza irritated me with monotony. Ultra-HAL, though somewhat smart, became repetitive after a minute. But Billy was one little bot that amused me. Though it forgets that there's something called Grammar, I enjoyed the conversation I had with Billy, simply for its unintended humor.

The following is a transcript of my converstion with Billy:
### BILLY 4.1: Transcript of September 23, 2005 at 12:39
### Bot BILLY talking to ABINAND
BILLY> what is your name?
USER> abinand
BILLY> have i talked to you before?
USER> no
BILLY> where do you live? :)
ABINAND> india
BILLY> what's your favorite sport?
ABINAND> badminton
BILLY> what's your favorite book?
ABINAND> angels and demons.
BILLY> what's your favorite movie?
ABINAND> The Matrix.
BILLY> actually, my girlfriend has the matrix.
ABINAND> does she have the DVD?
BILLY> the matrix.
ABINAND> yeah. Thats what.
BILLY> does she have not dvd!
ABINAND> does she have the CD then?
BILLY> does she have not cd then,
ABINAND> what does she have then?
ABINAND> what does she have?
ABINAND> okay. Never mind.
BILLY> angels and demons.
ABINAND> that is my favorite book.
BILLY> when i was younger, i had your favorite.
ABINAND> but the book was released only a few years back.
BILLY> is your book broken?
ABINAND> no. It is torn.
BILLY> can you just be positive once. abinand? :)
ABINAND> okay..okay..It is brand new.
BILLY> hehe! must be abinand not book learning. :(
ABINAND> yeah. that is why it is brand new.
ABINAND> It was nice talking to you. Bye.
BILLY> leaving already? ok bye..

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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Iam very happy to announce that my page is nearing the 667th hit. The 667th visitor will receive a free E-book. So, if yo are the 667th visitor, please leave a message in my tag board.

*What is so significant about the no.667?
667 denotes Satan's next door neighbor:). Now, isn't that significant?


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Mere coincidence?  

Friday, September 16, 2005

How many times have you wondered if anything that happened to you was just a mere coincidence or a miracle on a small scale? How many times have you got confused if your life really was under your control ? With lots of strange things happening people predicting that their house would be burgled..and it happens, and optimists suddenly having a feeling that they would meet with an accident and they do,and people predicting the time of their own death..

Serious things like this can be explained by saying that these are signs to give you a precaution that something bad is about to happen. And we are consoled that but for such serious things, life IS under our control. But when trivial day-to-day events happen in such a way that they cannot be dismissed off as mere coincidences, one gets a feeling that one's life is not in one's own hands.

For the past few months, it has been an untold rule that it should rain the moment I leave my house. Well, I don't go out of my house often (Probably once in a week). But the moment, I go out of my house, it starts raining. I like getting drenched in the rain, and I only wanted an excuse to do so. So I resume my journey as if it were shining.

Well, if that seems coincidental, read this.The other day when I planned to visit my friend's house, I got a phone call from an other friend which engaged me for around 20 minutes. Later when I dressed up and was descending down the steps to go to the friend's house, I had this strange feeling, 'What if he is on his way to meet me?'. I dismissed the thought and opened the gate. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the same friend whose house I was leaving to. He parked his bike and asked me,'Oh no! Are u leaving out? I wanted to meet you.'

How would you explain things like these? Its easy for a theist to explain. "Simple, Its all God's deed", says he. Its even more simpler for a nihilist. He says," Nothing is real. Life isn't real. Happenings aren't real. So why investigate?". Confused are the people of three kinds--the atheists, the agnostics, and ME. Well, I cannot be put into any of these types since I believe that God is just an energy and it can be harnessed through the mind. Iam proud of my theory, but after such occurences, I am afraid if my theory would be proved wrong.
There are thousands of questions to be answered. Is man in control of his own life? Or, is everything pre-decided? And, if fate can be overcome by extreme will-power? If so, what does one achieve by doing so? And ultimately, what is the purpose of life?

The questions remain...

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I read this article at Harris' blog. It was really good. So I wanted my readers to enjoy it too..

A man checked into a hotel at some far away village in Nairobi. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby

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Monday, September 12, 2005

Many times we wonder, "Should this movie be this long? They could have shortened it". Even though some scenes are interesting, the main plot of the story is very small. Here, I've tried ultra-condensing some of the movies I recently watched.

* This doesnot mean that the movies are unnecessarily lengthy. It's just to get a feel of how they would be if they were very short.


Rambo escapes from jail and is in the cave.

Colonel Trautman (over the megafone): Rambo, Surrender!!

Rambo: No, I won't.

659832531 bullets later..

Colonel Trautman: Rambo, Surrender!!

Rambo: Yeah! Okay!



Guy Pearce: "..and shoot him."
Before 15 mins ...
Guy Pearce: "..killed my wife.."
Before 15 mins...
Guy Pearce: " find the man who.."
Before 15 mins...
Guy Pearce: "I somehow have.."



Villagers: Oh no! the creatures are unhappy!!

Adrien Brody stabs Jaquin Phoenix.Bryce wants to get him medicines.

Villagers: Oh no! The creatures are unhappy. You can't leave the village!!

Bryce's dad: Bryce, Keep this a secret. There are no monsters. Its actually the village elders in costume. You can go and get the medicines.

Audience : What!! The twist is unravelled so soon?
Audience : No! No! There must be a bigger twist. After all, its a Shyamalan movie.

Bryce goes to the town, buys medicine, comes back. The movie ends.

Audience: WHAT!!? Wher's the last-minute twist?

M.Night Shyamalan: Oh! HA HA! You were expecting a twist, right? And you got what you never expected-the bland ending! That's my twist. Isn't that great?



Morpheus: You are the One, Neo.
Neo: No, Iam not.

Neo survives.

Oracle: You are the One.
Neo: No, Iam not.

Neo survives.

Tank: He is the One.
Neo: No, Iam not.

Neo "dies"

Trinity: Neo, Listen. The oracle told me i'd fall in love with the One. I've fallen in love with you. So, you must be the One.

Neo gets up and destroys Agent Smith.

Neo: Yeah! Iam the One.

Morpheus (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, I would have saved myself a few kicks.
Neo (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, I would have penetrated into Smith long before.
Audience (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, the movie would have ended long ago.


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The Board of wisdom  

Thursday, September 08, 2005

This post is dedicated to the ones who are/will be going abroad, and their families. These are a collection of quotes I found relevant.

1. "Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart."

2. "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everyhwere."

3. "A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again."

4. "Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too."

5. "Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

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Sunday, September 04, 2005

Iam a novice to blogging, but during these 3 months of visiting others' blogs, I came across many types of blogs. A few of them are really peculiar. Here I've tried to simulate these peculiar types of blogs found on the net.

* These blog titles and the posts are figments of my imagination and it is not my intention to hurt the feelings of my fellow-bloggers.


Sample post:
A couple of weeks ago, I went to my best-friend's wedding. She was dressed in a white gown and she was very beautiful. I had roses in my hands. I wanted to congratulate her. She looked at me. She was happy. Then she smiled. I too smiled back. It was really great. I was very happy. I recalled the days in the university. Those days were happy. but today, iam very happy. Yeaaaaah..IAM VERY HAPPY!!!!!


Sample post:
Very simple:
1.Dial 100
2.When our friendly operator picks up the phone, say 'YOU ARE A PIG'.
3.Wait for our officials to take u to our place.

1.Ha! ha! ha! How the hell r u able to come up with such ideas?
2. My god! U had me laughing for more than 5 minutes.

3. Eppidi da unakku indha ideallam thoanudhu?







Blog title:MI MENTE ME DICE.
Sample post:
Las cosas obtienen tierra virgen bonita en España. Hasta hoy, Iwas que no teniendo la menor idea acerca de los acontecimientos en mi país. Se despertó apenas hoy de mi profundo duerme. Las personas me dicen esa capital de España es Madrid y su moneda es Peseta. ¿Atroz.. lo que es el upto del gobierno? Ellos no tienen respeto para los ciudadanos.

abitheone: "This post is in Spanish. If you really want to know what it means, paste this text in to get a rough translation."


Sample post:
New offers. Whether you are suffering from back or neck pain or you just need to get a better night's sleep, the Di-Beddic™ and Soft-Beddic™ pressure sensitive memory foam mattresses may be just what the doctor ordered. Created by Dr. Rick Swartzburg, D.C., to help his patients suffering from all types of pain, the Tri-pedicÔ is the first three layer, pressure sensitive memory foam mattress with three different foam densities. We normally sell 4lb., 4.5lb. and 5lb. densities. Through listening to all of our customer feedback, we have learned that each density has it's own advantage.


Sample post:
I think Jim Carrey is the best actor in the world. His performances in movies like Ace-ventura and Liar-liar are awesome. His facial expressions...Whoa..I've never seen anything so great like that. He is able to show every subtle emotion in his face. I just dont know why people abandon handsome guys like Jim Carrey and go ga-ga over idiotic people like Tom Cruise. And Iam very sure that if Jim had been cast in 'The Godfather' instead of Marlon Brando, the movie would be running to packed houses till date.

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