LONG FILMS SHORT  

Monday, September 12, 2005











Many times we wonder, "Should this movie be this long? They could have shortened it". Even though some scenes are interesting, the main plot of the story is very small. Here, I've tried ultra-condensing some of the movies I recently watched.

* This doesnot mean that the movies are unnecessarily lengthy. It's just to get a feel of how they would be if they were very short.


Movie: FIRST BLOOD

Rambo escapes from jail and is in the cave.

Colonel Trautman (over the megafone): Rambo, Surrender!!

Rambo: No, I won't.

659832531 bullets later..

Colonel Trautman: Rambo, Surrender!!

Rambo: Yeah! Okay!

THE END



Movie: MEMENTO

Guy Pearce: "..and shoot him."
Before 15 mins ...
Guy Pearce: "..killed my wife.."
Before 15 mins...
Guy Pearce: "..to find the man who.."
Before 15 mins...
Guy Pearce: "I somehow have.."

THE END



Movie:THE VILLAGE

Villagers: Oh no! the creatures are unhappy!!

Adrien Brody stabs Jaquin Phoenix.Bryce wants to get him medicines.

Villagers: Oh no! The creatures are unhappy. You can't leave the village!!

Bryce's dad: Bryce, Keep this a secret. There are no monsters. Its actually the village elders in costume. You can go and get the medicines.

Audience : What!! The twist is unravelled so soon?
Audience : No! No! There must be a bigger twist. After all, its a Shyamalan movie.

Bryce goes to the town, buys medicine, comes back. The movie ends.

Audience: WHAT!!? Wher's the last-minute twist?

M.Night Shyamalan: Oh! HA HA! You were expecting a twist, right? And you got what you never expected-the bland ending! That's my twist. Isn't that great?

THE END



Movie: THE MATRIX

Morpheus: You are the One, Neo.
Neo: No, Iam not.

[FIGHT SEQUENCE]
Neo survives.

Oracle: You are the One.
Neo: No, Iam not.

[FIGHT SEQUENCE]
Neo survives.

Tank: He is the One.
Neo: No, Iam not.

[FIGHT SEQUENCE]
Neo "dies"

Trinity: Neo, Listen. The oracle told me i'd fall in love with the One. I've fallen in love with you. So, you must be the One.

Neo gets up and destroys Agent Smith.

Neo: Yeah! Iam the One.

Morpheus (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, I would have saved myself a few kicks.
Neo (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, I would have penetrated into Smith long before.
Audience (To Trinity): Fool! Had you said this earlier, the movie would have ended long ago.

THE END



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